This is the only space on the internet I practically own...But only a tender few people know about. So here you will find the most inner thoughts of me, KBarnes. Here goes.
:: The Habit ::
Sadly what was once a habit has crept into my thoughts. How can I explain this? I don't do it anymore if that's what you're wondering. I've conquered that part. But the thoughts and tendencies of previous engagement we had have taken over a part of my life. I do not eat like I once did. I eat. I eat healthy. And I eat nothing else but health. I tried to bring myself to indulge in a fatty food (a nice little 100 Grand Bar half) ... The candy bar is sitting in my refridgerator. I can't eat it. I tried. -- I guess this is a good thing. I mean, I must not want to eat it because I won't. But it's just a weird method of thinking. And I can't get myself out of it.
:: The Stalker ::
I've learned that some people in the big city are sick. They don't know when to quit. I can handle it, but it's taking a lot out of me. There is a slight level of stress looming over me daily. I'm so glad I have friends here, they take care of me very well. I love them all dearly. I love being able to call real friends and tell them my problem and then have them offer to come the distance and beat the hell out of people for me. Having that has kept me sane. Without it...I don't know what I would do. -- Stalking is not cool. Making me feel 100% uncomfortable is not cool. People will notice if I come up missing. Don't try it bitches. :)
:: The Future ::
A lot of good things are happening right now. I'm not scared to post about it over here, because I know if it comes crumbling down it won't be rubbed in my face. Blogger is such a good little buddy of mine. Haha. -- Anyways, I've just recently joined up with a modeling agency. Who would have thought people actually would buy my face. Haha. I'm working on lining up my first photo shoot within the next week. A photographer in Dallas is going to see what he can do with me. I'm putting together a portfolio. As soon as it is up, I'll drop the link on here. I'm going for plus-size modeling of course, but I'm in route to dropping to a size 10. I've been advised that this will open a lot of doors for me, so I'm going for it. (I think that hope might be the thing controlling my eating habits. It's just insane...I've got restraint like never before...And it kind of scares me. And at the same time makes me very happy.) If I could go pro-model, it would make me very, very, very happy. But we'll see where it goes.
:: The Future 2 ::
It is looking like I may soon have a job with a radio station. Not sure as of yet which one...But having more experience can only help to further get me where I want to be. I guess I've got so many dreams and ambition out the ass...It must show. Haha. When I speak to people they must notice a drive and work ethic they don't normally pick up with other people. I'm easily trained and damn good at what I do. Employers like that. And by God, I like it too. Haha
:: The Apartment ::
Soon I will have an Apartment. Next semester in fact. This makes me extatic. I love to finally have my own place to call home. Don't get me wrong...living in the dorms is nice, but I have so much going on right now...I really do need a space of my own. One that is bigger then this dorm room. And I must admit...It would be nice to step into a shower and not see long black hairs stuck to the wall from your roommate. Nice indeed.
:: Conclude ::
So things are going well. Things are getting crazy. And it's just another day in the life of K-Beezy. Haha. Tomorrow I get to see my stalker in 2 classes. I really wish I had a huge, buff, deep voiced man to put on my arm. -- Maybe I'll get one of those in a couple weeks too. Haha.
--KBarnes
